Running the race

Well, its been a good long while since I’ve sat down to write.  For some reason, I’ve just not felt the urge to do it, nor have I had much to write about, although I guess there have been some interesting events.  Anyway, I thought since I’ve not posted since the big race, that you all would like an update.  (Really, it’s been so long since I’ve been on here, it looks like I died in the race!)

Yeah me!  I did it, and boy was it hard.  I have never run 6.2 miles in my life, even with the training ahead of time, and it was a long darn way.  The day was overcast and rainy, something I didn’t plan on either, although it was brought to my attention that it may be raining on the day of the race and I should be prepared.  Nice.  I love the rain, although running in it is not quite the same as lying in bed while reading a bookand listening to it gently dropping on your roof!  Still, it was a gentle rain and I wore a hat and after 1 hour and 9 minutes I finished.  For those of you who like it in minutes per mile, it was around 11 minute miles.  Not great, but not bad, considering I just started running 4 weeks before the race.  I was happy, but my legs were not so much the next day.  Hmm, Note to self:  Next time, walk around a bit after you finish, maybe look like you are trying to find the bathroom or something, just so your muscles have a chance to chill out.  Now I know why they walk race horses around the track after they are done, (not that I was even close to race horse pace!)

Now, this weekend, I have again signed up to run in a Race for the Cure in memory of my mom, again with the same friend who encouraged me the last time.  Fortunately for me, this one is only a 5K, and I say, piece of cake!

I’ll let you know how it goes!  (And I promise, sooner than 4 weeks this time!)

“Run, Forest, run!”

I love to exercise. I hate gyms. For me, the only way to do it is outside. Whether it is walking, biking, running, or skipping, the best place is in the open air. I am blessed to live close to a big river, a half mile, to be exact. Along this river is a road where one can find beautiful houses, all starting at no less than $800,000. This is why I live 1/2 mile from the river and not right on it. (One day maybe!) Anyway, it seems to draw all kinds of athletes, but especially runners, walkers and bikers.

I may have said this in a previous post, but I am a walker. Running was never appealing to me, because when I ran, I felt as though my lungs were burning and my heart would jump out of my chest. For me, that wasn’t so fun, so I walked. Not only was running painful, but the surroundings also jumped around so you couldn’t focus on much. Quite frankly, I enjoy seeing the birds and other wildlife, and not through wiggly eyes. And then there was my knee. It always seemed to act up when I ran, or even when I biked. Something with a muscle or ligament on the side that always gave me a fit. After a 5 or so rides, it did get stronger, so it was something that I obviously had to work through.

Regardless, walking was good for me. So now for 3 years, I have been getting up at 6am to head out the door and walk for about 45 minutes before everyone else even opens their eyes. It is good. It is my alone time. It is my prayer time. It is my meditation time.

So, when a friend from church, who happens to be a triathlete, started encouraging another friend and myself to run in a 10k that is coming up (in 4 weeks), I nearly laughed my head off. “You can totally do it,” she said in her easy, nonchalant manner. After all, I did Aikido and I should be in good shape, right? Hell no! That is not the same thing as burning lungs, not to mention legs and heart! “But you are so strong,” she said. Oh my, I still resisted but my other friend (should I still call her that?) jumped on her wagon and started saying, “Yeah! I think we should do it!”

So here we are, 2 weeks away and guess what? I am a runner now. Well, maybe I shouldn’t go as far as saying runner, but definitely a jogger. This has been an interesting process for sure. Before, when for other various reasons, I started running, I just couldn’t stick with it. I could never get past those first 2 or 3 runs. I just hated it and said, “No way. I’m just meant to be a walker, not a runner.” And I was OK with that. I mean, who was I to prove anything to anyone else. Walking was good for me. This time, though, it is a bit different. It is amazing how spending a little money on a registration fee and having a date to actually “perform” will motivate one to persevere! Also, I couldn’t let my friend down.

I must say, that after a bit of pushing through the hard parts, which is pretty much every time I go for a run, it has gotten easier. Yesterday, I did 5.3 miles, which if you knew me, you’d know that was a huge accomplishment. It is amazing what the human body can do, and mine (even though it is challenged more than usual) is doing nothing compared to some of the other incredible athletes out there. Every time I run, I think of those people who do triathlons and the unbelievable training and preparation that goes into that. Their bodies are machines, finely tuned and trained with care. While I can think about them all I want, right now, I am just working on my own little body and trying to make it ready for the 6.2 miles it has to go on April 5th.
With all that said, I must say the lesson learned in this experience for me was you are what you think (or declare yourself to be, i.e. a walker vs. runner) and with a little perseverance, you can amaze yourself.Before this, I never would have thought myself capable of running a 10K, but you never know until you try. Now, instead of saying “I am a walker,” my new mantra is:

I am a runner.

My body is a machine.

My body rocks!

bang bang shoot ‘em up!

I’m going to preface this post with a brief statement. I know I may potentially get a lot of flack for this, but that’s never really stopped me before, so with that said…

I have never really been fond of guns.

My father had them at home while we were growing up, although they were not for anything other than looks. He was not a hunter or a collector and I’m not even sure why we had them. Nevertheless, they did come in handy when my brother and I found a huge copperhead snake in the back woods when we were kids. I remember running out of the woods in the pasture shouting to my father that we had found a snake, a “big snake!” Soon thereafter, we see him walking confidently with the gun in hand as we follow alongside, waiting to hear the big boom and to touch the dead snake.

As a teenager, I did learn how to shoot several different kinds in the far back woods of a friend of of a friend. My boyfriend at the time, decided that it would be a good thing for me to learn. As I write this, I am wondering why my father was not the one who showed me these skills. Although, I wonder a lot of things about my father, most of which is much greater than gun maintenance and shooting lessons.

All this said, I have been very resistant in letting my children play with guns while they are growing up. This was not very hard to do at home, as I could control what toys are brought into the house. It didn’t seem to matter, though, because the whole, where there is a will, there is a way theory kicks in. Sticks, legos and even paper, for crying out loud, could turn into something powerful and loud, a weapon of choice for my gotta-love-em boys! The challenge for me was when we were not at home. It was when we were out, let’s say a friend’s house or the pool in the summer. For as long as I could get away with it, when the children would find the infamous squirt guns lying around the pool deck, I remember telling the them that they were drills, with as serious a face as I could muster. Now, I know what you are thinking: lying to your children is worse than letting them play with guns. Sure, you may be right, but I don’t care. I didn’t like guns and was trying to avoid playing with them for as long as I could.

Those peaceful days ended last Christmas, with the purchase of a good, old-fashioned, silver gun slinger set, complete with a badge, a belt, holsters and not ONE but TWO shiny new guns. These were the kind with the shiny barrel and hammer that bangs when you pull the trigger. For a while, we have just let them play with them as is, that is, without the lovely rolls of red paper containing little pouches of gunpowder, equally spaced so as to make a repeatedly loud pop over and over when the trigger is pulled.

It wasn’t until the other day when I was telling my almost 8 year old about the rolls of red paper. He was hooked and wouldn’t let me forget that I had mentioned this new way to make sparks and noise with his gun. So, before I went crazy (really, if it’s not from this, it would be another!) I went to Walmart and picked up 100 rolls of these little treasures for an afternoon of bang-bang shoot ‘em up fun! After carefully explaining to them the rules of engagement, I set them out to save the world and get the bad guys! Needless to say, the kids were thrilled at the sound these little guns could make and spent the afternoon scaring the hell out of all the dogs in the neighborhood and chasing away any squirrel or bird that ever considered coming in our yard. I must admit, it did bring back many memories for me, especially the smell of the smoke from the freshly fired gun. I also enjoyed watching my 4 year old fire his gun in a rapid-fire succession, jumping just a bit when he hit one that packed a little more punch than the previous bang! I think they burned through almost 30 rolls in a 45 minute period, and I had to make them ease up so they would have some for the next day. What a hoot!

So, alas, my gunless days are over. But, I’m hoping that by letting them experience some of these innocent childhood games, they will be a little less inclined to be so enamored over real guns. Probably not, but it did feel good to share with them a little about what I had done when I was a young cowgirl.

Now, I bid you all a good night, while I go and rest and pray that the ringing in my ears stops before morning!

Sprouting

I know its been quite a while since posting anything other than comments on others blogs, but I am still here! I have just been a bit swamped with too much stuff, which I try to handle much more gracefully than in the past few weeks. I positively dread the statement, “I just don’t have enough time!” and that is not my reason for not posting. I simply didn’t really have anything to say. But, as it happens, I recently saw Anne Lamott at a lecture and she was quite inspiring. So, stay tuned. My basket is being filled and some new thoughts will be popping up soon.Peace to you all today!

fire saftey

OK, so it is a normal morning at my house.

The 2 oldest are off at school and I am busy with tidying the house for the morning. I clean up the kitchen and put the wooden cutting board on top of the stove where my husband cooked grits this am. (The cutting board was a specially ordered tray/board that goes over 2 elements on one half of my Jenn-air stove, located on the island in my kitchen.) A little while later, I am vacuuming the bedroom while the youngest 2, a 2 and 4 year old, brush their teeth in the bathroom. My husband calls about the mailing some tax stuff, I find it and I go back to vacuuming. As I come around the table next to the kitchen, I suddenly smell something that distinctly reminds me of burning marshmallows, or in this case, wood. I glance at the stove and notice that one of the knobs is not pointing up, like they should be and sprint to the kitchen. I whip off the cutting board and out wafts a huge puff of smoke, revealing the perfectly charred circle now permanently burned into the underside of the tray. Nice, I say. M and S (noticed I didn’t say S&M, although in this case that might be more appropriate!) are called and M, the youngest, admits to turning the knob on the stove. I don’t remember noticing whether the stove was off when I put the tray on, but I remember the elements not being hot.

Anyway, lucky we didn’t burn the house down. M now knows NOT to touch the stove, after using the stern mommy voice and explaining to a 2 year old about “fire” and “hot” and “burn” and “hurt you!” At least I hope she does!

And the best news: its not even 9:30am yet!

Winter river

I went down to the river today after church with my daughter. It’s been a while since I’ve been down there and I always find it so peaceful. The day was rather overcast, with patches of dim sun coming through every now and then. The temperature was not too bad, 55, I think, and we had a lovely time climbing over the rocks and watching the kayakers put in by the boat ramp.

I have always loved the river. It is so beautiful, with its giant, smoothed rocks scattered throughout the width of it, and the birds which live and fly over, constantly chatting away and fishing for food. The peaceful sound that the water makes as it burbles and glides over the rocks is the most soothing music to my soul. I could literally sit there for hours (and have, on more than one occasion) and listen and watch, taking in every sound and gentle breeze that blows.

After a while of climbing on rocks up river, we decided to take a little walk down to visit my rock. You see, I have this great rock that I have claimed as mine. Awhile back, I was touring along the edge of the river, climbing around and detouring on little paths until I came to, what was to me, the perfect rock. It was beautiful: big and gray, with a slight dip, perfect for lying in and a high spot on the edge, shaped perfectly for sitting. At the time, the river was high and this particular rock jutted out just enough to put you out in the water. As the cold wind was blowing, I sat alone, hugging my legs to keep me warm, all the while, watching the water swirl just below me. It was mesmerizing and ever since that day, I have called it my rock. I have spent many an hour there, staring off at the birds or meditating on my life, and even napping in the warmth of the summer sun.

On my visit today, it was all alone, waiting for me to rest my tired soul upon it’s smooth, granite surface. It was nice to sit and not feel rushed to leave. I only rush myself, often for no good reason, and after realizing that my daughter wanted to stay and play, despite the noon hour and the nip in the air, I settled back and watched her splash in the water with a stick. Just being there does wonderful things to me. It is really an oasis in the middle of a big city. I feel content, surrounded by Mother Nature herself, resting with me and recharging my mind and my body. She does my soul good. I think she has the same effect on my children too, as they are always much happier upon their return home, feeling less edgy and slower to argue. This is a welcomed relief and added bonus, for sure!

It was really nice to be there again. I am reminded to not let such a long time lapse before my next visit and I look forward to enjoying many more peaceful days down by the river.

a sad day

The sun was shining and the weather was unusually warm, and with this beautiful day came the death of my friend. We all knew it was only a matter of time, but still when you hear the news, you can’t help but to be shocked that the time has finally come. She was so young and this is so sad.

I got the news from a good friend, the one who actually introduced me to her over10 years ago. I was on my way to Costco Thursday afternoon. Oddly enough, I had sensed something was not right on the way to the store. There was a mysterious feeling of sadness, like I wanted to cry, but didn’t quite know who or what for. While walking around, I received a call from my friend. When I asked her how she was, she said she was sad. “Oh no,” I said. “What happened? Lynn died, didn’t she?” The answer was, of course, yes, earlier that morning. She was very upset, as one who is open to letting these emotions flow through her. For me, I have no tears yet, but I’m sure many will fall in the next few days while we attend the visitation for friends and family and her funeral on Monday.

It just seems so surreal. She is only a few years older than I am, and yet she is gone. Her body was healthy and strong, having birthed 2 children and supported her daily trips to the gym, but cancer is non-selective. It doesn’t matter what you do or what you eat, or even how healthy you are. When it comes, it comes. It digs in and starts to grow, becoming its own terrifying force in the body. Oh, how I wish we could understand its ways and neutralize its damaging, death inducing power. I know researchers are making strides and I support many of them, but we are still years away from understanding it fully.

For now, this young family is dealing with the whirlwind-like days following death; writing the obituary, choosing the coffin, choosing her burial clothes, arranging a service, finding the musicians and what to sing. There is so much to do. It is such a blur. You are numb.

And then it happens. The days go by, and you cry with your friends and say thank you a thousand times. You get dressed in your black clothes and read over the eulogy you prepared the previous day. You watch the funeral service and stand as they carry the coffin out to the hearse. Into the ground, as we all gather around, to mourn with those we love for a life we loved, the coffin is lowered.

Book Meme

Well, its been a while since I’ve had a chance to sit down and write anything, so this is a welcomed little task from the fantastically humorous MissHarleyQuinn at the Wild Hare. To tell you the truth, I’ve really been busy reading this book and trying to get to page 123! Here is what to do:
Rules:

1. Pick up the nearest book of at least 123 pages.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

The three sentences which follow the 5th from my nearest book are . . .

To prove to myself that I was not all talk? Or maybe it was more unkind than that: the need to see someone as frightened as I had been.

“Did you have a good time?”

This is from a popular book (I see it all the time at Target) called The Birth of VENUS, by Sarah Dunant. So far, it is very good, and as I was reading last night, I wished the meme had been the last 3 sentences from the last full paragraph of page 69.

I left my room and moved silently down one flight of stairs, but as I turned toward my mother’s quarters I was drawn to something else, a flickering line of light coming from under the door of the chapel room to my left. The chapel was out of bounds to servants, and with my mother and father gone there was only one person it could be. I can no longer remember if that thought halted or spurred me on.

Now tell me if that isn’t good! This an interesting story about a young woman living in Florence in the 15th century. She is an artist and loves to draw and suddenly finds herself drawn to a young man her wealthy father has hired to paint frescos in his new lavish home and portraits of his family. So far, so good! I’ll let you know how it goes!

I’m not tagging anyone either, because you’ve either already been tagged or you’ll do it because you want to share!

Happy reading!

bake me a cake as fast as you can

Tuesday is my daughter’s birthday and we are having a party for her tomorrow. So today, I was busy baking her the Castle cake that we picked out from pictures on the web. This one was her favorite and I copied it with a few changes. Needless to say, she is thrilled at the way it turned out and has been using the “birthday girl” excuse to get any privilege she can!

I also got a chance to make the Ginger-Macadamia-Coconut-Carrot cake for a birthday of someone in my Aikido class tomorrow night. This was the one on Deb’s site and it smells like it will be amazing too. As I was making it, I realized that it was vegan when I started looking for the eggs! She did say it was from Vegan with a Vengance, but I apparently didn’t pay much attention to that part. Anyway, I am looking forward to lots of cake tomorrow! I usually bake them for others, so it will be a treat to get to sample them myself.

Wishing you all a Sunny Sunday!

The Red Thread

“An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time,

place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break.”

-Chinese Proverb

I just came across a children’s book in the library by this same title. After scanning the first couple of pages, I decided to check it out, as I am always interested in anything Asian. This is a beautiful story of a king and queen who lived in a perfect kingdom, but soon found pains in their hearts. They gathered all the wise men, medicine men, and religious men from all around to determine what was causing this pain. (Maybe they should have called some women! LOL!) Along comes a beggar, and he puts on a special pair of glasses which enables him to see a red thread coming out of the king and queen’s heart. They both don the spectacles and indeed, see the red thread coming out. They try to cut it, but are unable to break it, much like you can try to cut a beam of light, but you will never be able to sever the line. The story goes on, and eventually they are led to a village where they find the string tied to the kicking legs of a beautiful baby.

I just love the picture that this story creates. For anyone who has felt it, there is no denying the strong pull you feel of another who is meant to be in your life. I was talking about this with a friend last night at church. We were talking about our children, and I asked her if she was ‘done.’ She has 2 and she quickly replied, “No. I’m not. Isn’t that weird?” You see, she is getting a divorce soon and her chances of have another baby anytime soon is a bit limited. I quickly said that “No, it wasn’t weird at all.” I had another friend once tell me that you know when you are done. How? I don’t know, but you just do. You know when you are complete. You know when all who are meant to be with you are. Life is neat like that.

So, I ask you. Do you have a pain in your heart? If we had on glasses and looked at you, would we see a thread coming out of your heart, heading out the door and down the lane? Or would it be all right there, in the same room as you, tied around those you love, in a beautiful, bright red bow?